Hi fellow sojourners!
I have been thinking ALLOT lately about "the holidays" as we approach Christmas, the winter solstice, etc.
holidays are a time primarily organized around seeing family, friends, making memories and sharing old memories. All these activities reinforce and build social and familial roots.
For those of us that feel isolated or rootless how can we make the most of this season?
As much as we take pride in our self-sufficiency and gypsy nature make sure you take time to connect meaningfully with others this season.
May you know that you are not alone and that you can seek and find someone who wants to listen to you and wants to understand you.
Blessings,
Isaac
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Monday, September 07, 2009
Great conversations...Listening & Talking
I love great conversations. I recently had a really good one with my brother Toby.
I feel refreshed, my burdens lift and I'm inspired to keep searching and dreaming about what this life is all about at the end of a great conversation.
I am reminded that the real sharing and living of life is done by being real about the feelings and thoughts in the journey with other people.
We discussed the challenges we face and what it takes to is to work through and understand and each other when emotionally charged issues arise.
It has been said that if you want to have a civil conversation, you should avoid the topics surrounding religion, politics and sex with those that have differing views than you. Also that real friendship and understanding is not possible with others of different opinions on these topics.
As I've thought about it, I realize that these topics strike a deep cord in most of us and are tied directly to the fundamental view we have of ourselves and we often feel our view threatened and have the need to defend our position and the face of a different option.
It is uncomfortable to be open to and understand the views of others, then those views are seen as challenging what we have always believed about how the world "should" be and what we "should" do. It can unsettle the relationship when and if we find that those we have agreed with in the past embrace a new and different view.
So... is it possible to still be friends and differ on these topics? Can we understand those on the other side of the fence and still be "friends"?
Last night I watched the movie "The Boy in the Stripped Pajamas" and it struck me again how easily children can break through the ideological and social barriers we construct (around ourselves as adults) to define and "protect" ourselves. In our attempts to define and live within the comfort zones of our relationships we often miss out on relationships or experiences that would enrich and bring new dimensions to our lives.
Are we willing to be courageous enough and willing to take the risk to open up discussions across the lines, and to really listen even regarding those things we feel strongly about?
I believe our lives will be richer of it if we do!
I feel refreshed, my burdens lift and I'm inspired to keep searching and dreaming about what this life is all about at the end of a great conversation.
I am reminded that the real sharing and living of life is done by being real about the feelings and thoughts in the journey with other people.
We discussed the challenges we face and what it takes to is to work through and understand and each other when emotionally charged issues arise.
It has been said that if you want to have a civil conversation, you should avoid the topics surrounding religion, politics and sex with those that have differing views than you. Also that real friendship and understanding is not possible with others of different opinions on these topics.
As I've thought about it, I realize that these topics strike a deep cord in most of us and are tied directly to the fundamental view we have of ourselves and we often feel our view threatened and have the need to defend our position and the face of a different option.
It is uncomfortable to be open to and understand the views of others, then those views are seen as challenging what we have always believed about how the world "should" be and what we "should" do. It can unsettle the relationship when and if we find that those we have agreed with in the past embrace a new and different view.
So... is it possible to still be friends and differ on these topics? Can we understand those on the other side of the fence and still be "friends"?
Last night I watched the movie "The Boy in the Stripped Pajamas" and it struck me again how easily children can break through the ideological and social barriers we construct (around ourselves as adults) to define and "protect" ourselves. In our attempts to define and live within the comfort zones of our relationships we often miss out on relationships or experiences that would enrich and bring new dimensions to our lives.
Are we willing to be courageous enough and willing to take the risk to open up discussions across the lines, and to really listen even regarding those things we feel strongly about?
I believe our lives will be richer of it if we do!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Making the Most Out of Change and Growing Through It.
Making the most Out of Change and Growing Through It.
Life doesn't always work out how you plan. The last six months for me involved the ending of a 8 year marriage relationship. In the midst of this personal and relational transition, I have learned a few fundamental things that I would like to share with you. (I think they relate to any transition, cultural or otherwise)
1) Expect the Unexpected.
2) Adopt the Attitude of a Learner.
3) Find/Build/Develop your Support System.
If you apply these lessons you will find that the journey through is not as hard as it would be otherwise. Lets look at each lesson a little more in depth.
1) Expect the Unexpected.
Lets face it other people, & circumstance can not be controlled. As hard as we may try, we will find that the people we love or things we wanted to happen, do not go according to our expectations. This dichotomy (the mismatch of expectations with reality) creates anxiety, stress and emotional and physical discomfort. Essentially this is what culture shock is.
Think for a moment with me, isn't this how culture shock works?
We move to a new place and things are done are different. We are living with one set of expectations and we find that life is not done in our new place the way we have experienced it in the place we came from. How does that make you feel?
The reality is that both are not good or bad, they are just different. We just need to expect the unexpected. So how does this relate to my relationship?
Well I expected that things were going great. but the reality was that they weren't. I was confronted by the fact that my expectations and the expectations my now x were at odds.
We developed unhealthy communications styles and miscommunication built up into resentment and anger over time. Relational walls were built that split us apart. One day my x came to me and said she was done with the relationship and it was over. I was shocked and after some time realised the situation was a fork in the road. I had a decision to make. I could react with harsh and bitterness of my own and blame her for her part in the death of the relationship or... I could take the attitude of the learner and grow from the situation. Lets look at what I mean by attitude of the Learner.
2) Adopt the Attitude of a Learner
Life daily presents us with the opportunity to learn and grow. It is up to us as to accept the learning or reject and discount it. To have the attitude of a learner means that we take our own responsibility for how we react to situations and circumstances we put or find ourselves in. It means that we look for what we have contributed and seek to understand our own behavior and the behavior of other people involved. I means we work toward gaining a deeper realization of what is creating conflict or what is working. The critical step in learning is to apply our new knowledge in a practical way. This means adapting to new ways of doing things (such as the way things are done on the new culture we are in) or changing or incorporating the new reality into our belief about the way things are.
For me I had to accept my own responsibility for my own behavior and acknowledge the behavior of my x which brought us to divorce. I also had to accept the work of seeking to understand myself and seek to understand my x (her position and the reasons and expectations behind her behavior)
Sometimes the reality is that there is nothing we can do to repair what is broken. Personalities clash and people decide to part company for different destinations in life. and it may not necessarily mean either person is in the wrong, they just have made different decisions. While it does hurt emotionally and can feel like a betrayal (when what we expected doesn't happen the way we expect) have the attitude of the learner. The point is to learn for what is currently and next in life.
When we have the attitude of the Learner we are open, discerning and receptive to grow in whatever circumstance we jump into or find ourselves in. We are living consciously aware of what we allow into or lives. It is a state of personal empowerment, instead of being a victim of life and circumstance. We can make choices about what we will learn and who we will become.
Having the attitude of the learner doesn't mean we just accept everything, it means that we can be discerning and determine what we will accept and learn. Somethings we may chose not to learn. In new circumstances things can seem overwhelming but when we realise we always have some choices it makes the transition we are facing easier to navigate and take in.
If we could just do all of this learning on our own, we could all live on our own islands and be perfectly happy; the fact is we need each other, other people to walk and talk and experience life with us. as the saying goes... no man or woman is an island! This brings me to the third part of the puzzle. Find/ Build /Develop your support system.
3) Find /Build /Develop your support system.
Life is not lived in a vacuum. we need other people in our lives. it is though interacting and making choices and missteps that we can grow and live up our true potential. Just because we have been hurt or hurt others doesn't mean we shouldn't engage and connect with others.
We all have a part to play and a contribution to make. lets say you are in a new environment. you need support. the question is are you the type of person who creates a support system around themselves or are you the type who looks for the existing support system and plugs in? the fact is that there is not just one way to get the support we all need.
Life is never meant to be lived alone. you don't have to do it alone. I believe you will grow and get the most out of life to the degree that you connect with others. This too depends on your needs and goals. You don't have to be a "networker" if all you need is a couple of deep friendships that will tell you like it is and stick with you no matter what. If you are looking to spread the word about something "networking" may be the very thing you need to co connect with a large audience.
The fact is we need each other. Don't be afraid of rejection. it will come sometimes but there are others out there that will support and help with what we need and we can help then they are need. A support system is a two way street. We just can't take we must also give back.
So what do you think?
Remember that when you are facing change and want to make the most of it and grow through it to : 1) expect the unexpected. 2) adopt the attitude of a learner, 3) find/build/develop your support system.
Life doesn't always work out how you plan. The last six months for me involved the ending of a 8 year marriage relationship. In the midst of this personal and relational transition, I have learned a few fundamental things that I would like to share with you. (I think they relate to any transition, cultural or otherwise)
1) Expect the Unexpected.
2) Adopt the Attitude of a Learner.
3) Find/Build/Develop your Support System.
If you apply these lessons you will find that the journey through is not as hard as it would be otherwise. Lets look at each lesson a little more in depth.
1) Expect the Unexpected.
Lets face it other people, & circumstance can not be controlled. As hard as we may try, we will find that the people we love or things we wanted to happen, do not go according to our expectations. This dichotomy (the mismatch of expectations with reality) creates anxiety, stress and emotional and physical discomfort. Essentially this is what culture shock is.
Think for a moment with me, isn't this how culture shock works?
We move to a new place and things are done are different. We are living with one set of expectations and we find that life is not done in our new place the way we have experienced it in the place we came from. How does that make you feel?
The reality is that both are not good or bad, they are just different. We just need to expect the unexpected. So how does this relate to my relationship?
Well I expected that things were going great. but the reality was that they weren't. I was confronted by the fact that my expectations and the expectations my now x were at odds.
We developed unhealthy communications styles and miscommunication built up into resentment and anger over time. Relational walls were built that split us apart. One day my x came to me and said she was done with the relationship and it was over. I was shocked and after some time realised the situation was a fork in the road. I had a decision to make. I could react with harsh and bitterness of my own and blame her for her part in the death of the relationship or... I could take the attitude of the learner and grow from the situation. Lets look at what I mean by attitude of the Learner.
2) Adopt the Attitude of a Learner
Life daily presents us with the opportunity to learn and grow. It is up to us as to accept the learning or reject and discount it. To have the attitude of a learner means that we take our own responsibility for how we react to situations and circumstances we put or find ourselves in. It means that we look for what we have contributed and seek to understand our own behavior and the behavior of other people involved. I means we work toward gaining a deeper realization of what is creating conflict or what is working. The critical step in learning is to apply our new knowledge in a practical way. This means adapting to new ways of doing things (such as the way things are done on the new culture we are in) or changing or incorporating the new reality into our belief about the way things are.
For me I had to accept my own responsibility for my own behavior and acknowledge the behavior of my x which brought us to divorce. I also had to accept the work of seeking to understand myself and seek to understand my x (her position and the reasons and expectations behind her behavior)
Sometimes the reality is that there is nothing we can do to repair what is broken. Personalities clash and people decide to part company for different destinations in life. and it may not necessarily mean either person is in the wrong, they just have made different decisions. While it does hurt emotionally and can feel like a betrayal (when what we expected doesn't happen the way we expect) have the attitude of the learner. The point is to learn for what is currently and next in life.
When we have the attitude of the Learner we are open, discerning and receptive to grow in whatever circumstance we jump into or find ourselves in. We are living consciously aware of what we allow into or lives. It is a state of personal empowerment, instead of being a victim of life and circumstance. We can make choices about what we will learn and who we will become.
Having the attitude of the learner doesn't mean we just accept everything, it means that we can be discerning and determine what we will accept and learn. Somethings we may chose not to learn. In new circumstances things can seem overwhelming but when we realise we always have some choices it makes the transition we are facing easier to navigate and take in.
If we could just do all of this learning on our own, we could all live on our own islands and be perfectly happy; the fact is we need each other, other people to walk and talk and experience life with us. as the saying goes... no man or woman is an island! This brings me to the third part of the puzzle. Find/ Build /Develop your support system.
3) Find /Build /Develop your support system.
Life is not lived in a vacuum. we need other people in our lives. it is though interacting and making choices and missteps that we can grow and live up our true potential. Just because we have been hurt or hurt others doesn't mean we shouldn't engage and connect with others.
We all have a part to play and a contribution to make. lets say you are in a new environment. you need support. the question is are you the type of person who creates a support system around themselves or are you the type who looks for the existing support system and plugs in? the fact is that there is not just one way to get the support we all need.
Life is never meant to be lived alone. you don't have to do it alone. I believe you will grow and get the most out of life to the degree that you connect with others. This too depends on your needs and goals. You don't have to be a "networker" if all you need is a couple of deep friendships that will tell you like it is and stick with you no matter what. If you are looking to spread the word about something "networking" may be the very thing you need to co connect with a large audience.
The fact is we need each other. Don't be afraid of rejection. it will come sometimes but there are others out there that will support and help with what we need and we can help then they are need. A support system is a two way street. We just can't take we must also give back.
So what do you think?
Remember that when you are facing change and want to make the most of it and grow through it to : 1) expect the unexpected. 2) adopt the attitude of a learner, 3) find/build/develop your support system.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Belonging Challenge
To all you guys and gals out there I'd like to invite you to this Belonging challenge. My friend Brice Royer has such a great idea. I envite you to join me as I take up Brice's Belonging Challenge.
In this world of interconnectedness we still need to know that we belong with other people in tangible ways.The Belonging Challenge is designed for each of us to reach out to at least one other human being. One that we would not normally or automatically extend the hand of belonging to.
the Belonging Challenge is a series of challenges that break out of our comfort zone and perhaps build a better world.
Watch the video here:http://briceroyer.com/challengeready
One behalf of my friend Brice,
Thank you for joining us in this challenge, you belong with us!
In this world of interconnectedness we still need to know that we belong with other people in tangible ways.The Belonging Challenge is designed for each of us to reach out to at least one other human being. One that we would not normally or automatically extend the hand of belonging to.
the Belonging Challenge is a series of challenges that break out of our comfort zone and perhaps build a better world.
Watch the video here:http://briceroyer.com/challengeready
One behalf of my friend Brice,
Thank you for joining us in this challenge, you belong with us!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Deciding who you ARE and explaining it
I've been thinking about labels. some of my friends on MKnet have been discussing how we introduce ourselves and asking about how much we share in an introduction.
It seems as TCKs we get our identity and experiences from our childhood years, from the places we have lived and the the experiences that have shaped our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. If I was to tell you that before age 4 I had experienced life in rural Mexico and the States and then began the rest of my childhood and teenage years in West Africa with two pivotal years (ages 10 and 11) in the the United States how would you respond? Does the fact that I have now lived (from age 17 to 35) and graduated from high school and college in the States make me seem more American?
What I have done with these last 18 years in the States is part of what makes me who I am. Certainly I have cross-cultural roots, but I have some roots here in the USA too.
Yes, the continent of my earlier years tugs at my heart, whispering sweetly in my dreams or shouting above the din of suburban life. But it is not the only voice. This country of my current sojourn makes its impassioned plea for my attention as well. From the sweet rolling hills of the blue ridge mountains to beaches of California and now to the foothills of the rocky mountains. The traveling and living I've done in this land has been amazing.
Were I made to choose between the land of my youth and the one where I make my current home...I must confess, I could not, for they are both so dear to me. It is not just the physical geography, but the geography and it's people (all my friends) that I have come to love.
For me, to be defined (or labeled) by where one had been is one thing, one side of the coin. The other side of the coin is defined by where I'm going, who I will be in the future. The past is gone, it is the future that is before me. Deciding who I am in the future starts with choosing who I am today.
Why is it that people always ask "where we you from?" and not "where are you going?"
Mind if I ask?...
Where are you going in life from here?
It seems as TCKs we get our identity and experiences from our childhood years, from the places we have lived and the the experiences that have shaped our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. If I was to tell you that before age 4 I had experienced life in rural Mexico and the States and then began the rest of my childhood and teenage years in West Africa with two pivotal years (ages 10 and 11) in the the United States how would you respond? Does the fact that I have now lived (from age 17 to 35) and graduated from high school and college in the States make me seem more American?
What I have done with these last 18 years in the States is part of what makes me who I am. Certainly I have cross-cultural roots, but I have some roots here in the USA too.
Yes, the continent of my earlier years tugs at my heart, whispering sweetly in my dreams or shouting above the din of suburban life. But it is not the only voice. This country of my current sojourn makes its impassioned plea for my attention as well. From the sweet rolling hills of the blue ridge mountains to beaches of California and now to the foothills of the rocky mountains. The traveling and living I've done in this land has been amazing.
Were I made to choose between the land of my youth and the one where I make my current home...I must confess, I could not, for they are both so dear to me. It is not just the physical geography, but the geography and it's people (all my friends) that I have come to love.
For me, to be defined (or labeled) by where one had been is one thing, one side of the coin. The other side of the coin is defined by where I'm going, who I will be in the future. The past is gone, it is the future that is before me. Deciding who I am in the future starts with choosing who I am today.
Why is it that people always ask "where we you from?" and not "where are you going?"
Mind if I ask?...
Where are you going in life from here?
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Mixing it up with local business leaders
A couple nights ago I went to my first local business networking event sponsored by our city chamber of commerce. It was interesting to mingle, collect business cards, hand mine out and spend a few min. getting to know and hearing every one's 60 second intro. The venue was packed with people all looking to make a business connection that will help them in the future.
One of the things I noticed at this event was that people were willing to share or forward information from someone they knew what might help another attendee that night.
In the 2&1/2 hour event I came away with the business cards of 35 different business people.
If you are looking to get connected to the community you are in. I highly suggest that you look into your local chamber of commerce for connections.
It doesn't take much to join a group like this but the benefits can me great. Our world is so connected and even with all the technology it is still through a personal connection that opportunities and resources flow!
One of the things I noticed at this event was that people were willing to share or forward information from someone they knew what might help another attendee that night.
In the 2&1/2 hour event I came away with the business cards of 35 different business people.
If you are looking to get connected to the community you are in. I highly suggest that you look into your local chamber of commerce for connections.
It doesn't take much to join a group like this but the benefits can me great. Our world is so connected and even with all the technology it is still through a personal connection that opportunities and resources flow!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Hylighter : A Collaboration Tool for Geographically dispersed teams
In our uber-connected world, where as TCKs we have connections all over the world, I have been thinking about ways we can maximize our connections and collaborations. One way is though already developed Collaboration tools. We live in a time that makes telecommuting to work a viable option. I recently came across a great tool at I think would help those of us that work creatively and in teams that have members that are geographically dispersed.
The web tool is called Hylighter. Take a look and tell me what you think.
The web tool is called Hylighter. Take a look and tell me what you think.
Stepping Up to the Plate in the Game called Life
As a TCK, what do you say, how do you respond, when you are called upon unexpectedly to fill in for a co-worker in need? Yesterday morning I got a call from a co-worker that requested my help in the studio on my day off.
here are a few of the ways I could have chosen to respond:
a) say yes - but really resent the intrusion
b) say yes - because I was open and willing to go in to help out
c) say no - dismissing it without listening to the need expressed
d) say no - after listening to the need, explain why it was not possible for me to help at this time.
It may seem like the choices here are simple.
I have found that life comes down to simple choices. When we are presented with outside requests and demands on our time we must chose how we are going to respond. most of us tend to complicate matters and agonize over our decisions (doing so adds stress to the experience). When we are stressed we tend to make snap decisions based on our immediate feelings. (I've tended to look back on most of my decisions made based on alleviating immediate feelings of stress as imprudent and foolish)
The best course of response to others who "need" us unexpectedly or who make requests of our time and talent is to decide beforehand how we will respond.
Remember: with the help of our Creator, our lives are our own to direct.
The best defense against stress in the face of outside demands is to be inwardly directed.
when we are inwardly directed we are:
-choosing the priorities of how to use our time before outside influences and demands arise.(there will be different priorities for different people at different times.)
-the key is to make choices & decisions before stress distorts our perception of reality
-planning ahead for for the curve balls life can throw our way.
-committed to sticking to our preplanned response, when it serves our goals.
-flexible to outside pressures because we have options in our responses
This week I responded on different occasions with the above answers b & d . B and D put me in control of my life and happy with the choice I made when responding to the outside demand. Choosing my responses was easy as I had done some "pregame" decision planning beforehand for each situation and request.
Note: when you make the decisions beforehand of how you will respond to whatever the outside demand on your time is, it is not unexpected anymore, you have "rehearsed" it already. You are ready to meet it.
Examine your life today. Are you reacting to outside situations that "govern" your life or are you living from within? You will enjoy your life more when you take the time to do some "pregame" decision planning and get proactive in your approach to life.Doing so will enable you to step up the the plate in this game of life, and swing for the fences with confidence!
here are a few of the ways I could have chosen to respond:
a) say yes - but really resent the intrusion
b) say yes - because I was open and willing to go in to help out
c) say no - dismissing it without listening to the need expressed
d) say no - after listening to the need, explain why it was not possible for me to help at this time.
It may seem like the choices here are simple.
I have found that life comes down to simple choices. When we are presented with outside requests and demands on our time we must chose how we are going to respond. most of us tend to complicate matters and agonize over our decisions (doing so adds stress to the experience). When we are stressed we tend to make snap decisions based on our immediate feelings. (I've tended to look back on most of my decisions made based on alleviating immediate feelings of stress as imprudent and foolish)
The best course of response to others who "need" us unexpectedly or who make requests of our time and talent is to decide beforehand how we will respond.
Remember: with the help of our Creator, our lives are our own to direct.
The best defense against stress in the face of outside demands is to be inwardly directed.
when we are inwardly directed we are:
-choosing the priorities of how to use our time before outside influences and demands arise.(there will be different priorities for different people at different times.)
-the key is to make choices & decisions before stress distorts our perception of reality
-planning ahead for for the curve balls life can throw our way.
-committed to sticking to our preplanned response, when it serves our goals.
-flexible to outside pressures because we have options in our responses
This week I responded on different occasions with the above answers b & d . B and D put me in control of my life and happy with the choice I made when responding to the outside demand. Choosing my responses was easy as I had done some "pregame" decision planning beforehand for each situation and request.
Note: when you make the decisions beforehand of how you will respond to whatever the outside demand on your time is, it is not unexpected anymore, you have "rehearsed" it already. You are ready to meet it.
Examine your life today. Are you reacting to outside situations that "govern" your life or are you living from within? You will enjoy your life more when you take the time to do some "pregame" decision planning and get proactive in your approach to life.Doing so will enable you to step up the the plate in this game of life, and swing for the fences with confidence!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Accelerated Learning: Tools for cross-cultural learning
One of my desires is to be able to teach others how to make cultural transitions easier.
I think I've found a great resource that I'd like to share with you guys.
One of the Benefits of growing up cross-culturally was a that we were immersed in a a new culture where we learned everything experientially. that is the best way to learn anything.
Dave Meier has written a great book called "The Accelerated learning Handbook" its all about experiential learning. it is great to use for yourself or if you are teaching things to others.
I think Dave's book can be a great tool for cross-cultural learning!
I think I've found a great resource that I'd like to share with you guys.
One of the Benefits of growing up cross-culturally was a that we were immersed in a a new culture where we learned everything experientially. that is the best way to learn anything.
Dave Meier has written a great book called "The Accelerated learning Handbook" its all about experiential learning. it is great to use for yourself or if you are teaching things to others.
I think Dave's book can be a great tool for cross-cultural learning!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
A Valentines Dinner : A Raw Gourmet Feast
This evening Clara prepared an amazing raw gourmet dinner for Valentines Day. The theme was Mediterranean. Joining us for dinner were friends who were getting their first taste of Clara's raw gourmet feast. The verdict by all was that not only was the food delicious but so fun to eat! Raw food has it's detractors, those who say a meal is not complete with out some meat protein and some refined sugars for desert. I could argue the point, but tonight I'll just say that we ended the evening feeling satisfied and with tummies happy. Thank you to my dear wife for making this valentines day so enjoyable and memorable!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
As a TCK...Is it easier to be in a relationship with a TCK or a non-TCK?
My friend Brice from TCKID has a short survey that he would love your input on. you can visit TCKID to weigh in with your opinions or you can check out Brice's video of the 200+ results that are in already here
I encourage you to take the survey and to make your thoughts known.
you can also find out more about the results so far on the TCKID facebook page
here ia a note from my friend Brice.
"Hey,Brice here. A while back I asked you if you prefer to be in a relationship with a TCK or Non-TCK and does it even matter? I received over 200 responses with some very interesting stories...As promised, I made this quick video to tell you about the results, and something about my love life. You can watch it on Youtube here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCxFzdr8Wcw
There are many single TCKs looking for partners and couples who need advice or want to mentor younger TCKs. I want to hear your ideas on how we can help serve the needs of the TCK community."
Take the survey: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=Djh03K%2b0M2LXFFVZ8vurjw%3d%3d
I (Isaac) personally think that it comes down to an individual perference. I think it is easier to be in a relationship with someone who has a simmilar out look on life. I had a great chat with Brice today and this is what I said to him.
I encourage you to take the survey and to make your thoughts known.
you can also find out more about the results so far on the TCKID facebook page
here ia a note from my friend Brice.
"Hey,Brice here. A while back I asked you if you prefer to be in a relationship with a TCK or Non-TCK and does it even matter? I received over 200 responses with some very interesting stories...As promised, I made this quick video to tell you about the results, and something about my love life. You can watch it on Youtube here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCxFzdr8Wcw
There are many single TCKs looking for partners and couples who need advice or want to mentor younger TCKs. I want to hear your ideas on how we can help serve the needs of the TCK community."
Take the survey: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=Djh03K%2b0M2LXFFVZ8vurjw%3d%3d
I (Isaac) personally think that it comes down to an individual perference. I think it is easier to be in a relationship with someone who has a simmilar out look on life. I had a great chat with Brice today and this is what I said to him.
another book: "Now discover your Strengths"
I have been going back though this book and took the test they offer to figure out what my strengths are. it was really interesting and helpful to see what they were and how I can begin to build on my talents based on my strengths. it does seem that it is best to work to your strengths and not to your weaknesses when you are building your life.
It seems logical to build on what comes more naturally and that you enjoy doing. that is the fuel the propels people to do great things.
check out this link to begin to discover and uncover your strengths
http://www.strengthsfinder.com/
It seems logical to build on what comes more naturally and that you enjoy doing. that is the fuel the propels people to do great things.
check out this link to begin to discover and uncover your strengths
http://www.strengthsfinder.com/
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
A review you should read: Hiram's CD release concert
This link below is to a blogger who was at and took in my brother's CD release Concert on Feb 7th 09.
As much as I think my brother has something to say with his music and the professional quality of the music production. Having someone who is not a blood relation, of whom no bias can be attributed, is the best one to tell you to have a listen to Hiram's music and discover for yourself what his music says to you.
http://www.andilit.com/?p=373
and if you like what you hear spread the word!!
As much as I think my brother has something to say with his music and the professional quality of the music production. Having someone who is not a blood relation, of whom no bias can be attributed, is the best one to tell you to have a listen to Hiram's music and discover for yourself what his music says to you.
http://www.andilit.com/?p=373
and if you like what you hear spread the word!!
Monday, February 09, 2009
Making sense of your TCKness
How do you decide which parts of your TCK exprience serve you and which ones you should let go of?
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Being comfortable in our multicultural skin
today I've been doing some thinking and reading about our shared multicultural experiences from childhood. how can we answer the question "where are you from?" when you are not sure of the answer yourself?
I came across a great article by by Barbara F. Schaetti the director of Transition Dynamics (one of the links above) entitled Phoenix Rising: A Question of Cultural Identity I highly recommend that any TCK and Global Nomad read it. It puts into perspective how we view the cross cultural experiences that have shaped us and what our response will be.
The website I found the Phoenix Rising article on is called worldweave . It does not seem to have been been updated it seems since 1997 but the articles there are timeless.
I came across a great article by by Barbara F. Schaetti the director of Transition Dynamics (one of the links above) entitled Phoenix Rising: A Question of Cultural Identity I highly recommend that any TCK and Global Nomad read it. It puts into perspective how we view the cross cultural experiences that have shaped us and what our response will be.
The website I found the Phoenix Rising article on is called worldweave . It does not seem to have been been updated it seems since 1997 but the articles there are timeless.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Toastmasters International
Most of us see our selves as great communicators or we shrink back from the idea of getting up to speak.
I highly recommend everyone join a local Toastmasters Club. What is Toastmasters? It is an organization that helps novice- expert speakers practice speaking and leadership skills. It is a great way to get connected to the community and make friends if you have moved into a new area. if you have been in your area fro a while and are having a hard time connecting with others toastmasters is a great way to get out of your shell!
I highly recommend everyone join a local Toastmasters Club. What is Toastmasters? It is an organization that helps novice- expert speakers practice speaking and leadership skills. It is a great way to get connected to the community and make friends if you have moved into a new area. if you have been in your area fro a while and are having a hard time connecting with others toastmasters is a great way to get out of your shell!
Friday, February 06, 2009
Music That Speaks to the TCK Exprience
Hiram Ring is a TCK who happens to be a exceptional singer song-writer.
Here on Connecting Bridge we will be posting an interview with this gifted musician.
Tomorrow Feb. 7th marks the release of his first full-length solo CD entitled "Breath Deep" check it out and buy a copy! you will be glad you did!
Hiram was born in Ghana, West Africa and currently lives in PA. Stay tuned for more about Hiram and his music. for now you can check out his music
at www.hiramring.com,
on itunes
on facebook
and his new music video for the song "one girl for me"
Here on Connecting Bridge we will be posting an interview with this gifted musician.
Tomorrow Feb. 7th marks the release of his first full-length solo CD entitled "Breath Deep" check it out and buy a copy! you will be glad you did!
Hiram was born in Ghana, West Africa and currently lives in PA. Stay tuned for more about Hiram and his music. for now you can check out his music
at www.hiramring.com,
on itunes
on facebook
and his new music video for the song "one girl for me"
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Another Mile Stone.
Today is my Birthday. Marking the beginning of my 35th year on this earth... looking back I can see the tapestry of faces and lives interwoven into mine. I wouldn't be where I am without my family and friends. The TCKs from childhood are my extended family, and my old school chums, co-workers and church buddies round out the picture of my life. I've got to admit I've been truly blessed!
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
I can't say enough about tckid.com
I recently met Brice through Facebook and chatted with him on skype, he's the guy that started TCKID.
http://www.tckid.com/group/people/third-culture-kids-for-tckid/
it is a place to get plugged in, stay connected, and thrive!
if you are a TCK looking for a space to connect with other TCKs this is the place to do it.
http://www.tckid.com/group/people/third-culture-kids-for-tckid/
it is a place to get plugged in, stay connected, and thrive!
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
The importance of connecting with others
Tonight I got back from a TCK meetup in Denver. there were 7 of us that met for dinner at an Ethiopian Restuant in downtown Denver.
After three hours of swapping life stories and listening to each other we all knew it was time to leave as we have jobs tomorrow to return to, but it was hard to leave as new friendships were made and the sense of connectedness and shared understanding was felt by all.
When you are with other people that "get" you it is an environment that encourages and uplifts you. I drove the hour and a bit home on cloud nine.
I can't wait to meet up again with this group!
If you don't have such a group in your area start one.
if you don't know where to start looking visit and join TCKID or MKPLANET to get connected. there is a TCK group on facebook too.
After three hours of swapping life stories and listening to each other we all knew it was time to leave as we have jobs tomorrow to return to, but it was hard to leave as new friendships were made and the sense of connectedness and shared understanding was felt by all.
When you are with other people that "get" you it is an environment that encourages and uplifts you. I drove the hour and a bit home on cloud nine.
I can't wait to meet up again with this group!
If you don't have such a group in your area start one.
if you don't know where to start looking visit and join TCKID or MKPLANET to get connected. there is a TCK group on facebook too.
Monday, February 02, 2009
A book every TCK should read
I'm coming to the end of another really great read. The book is called "What Should I Do with My Life?" by PO BRONSON
Most of us TCKs believe that we are unique and have the hardest time of anyone trying to decide what to do with our lives. While the challenge is before us of what we will make of our lives, it is certainly not exclusively our struggle. Those who have not left their country's shores also cry to the heavens for purpose, vision and calling.
PO Bronson crisscrossed the USA talking to hundreds of individuals(over 600) that were struggling to listen to and find their own voices. I think this is the fundamental question of our generation. What should I do with my life? is at the heart of discovering who we really are.
We need to peel away the maze of external expectations that may have made us great adapters (each time we made a cultural transition we were trying to figure what expectations we should be looking for and adapting too) but have made us loose sight of true selves.
When was the last time you took inventory of who you are?
Do you recognize and like what you see? It may take a while to strip all the layers of cover off to get to know yourself again. That is OK. I challenge you to start down the road of self discovery. I was in survival mode most of my TCK childhood and carried some of those ways of living into adulthood. I'd avoided a lot of my own needs to please the expectations or my perceived expectations from others.When I started to ask myself what I really wanted and needed it wasn't easy but it has been so worth it.
PO BRONSON'S book has been another encouragement to me to continue to ask and seek out my unique voice in the midst of my TCK identity.
I encourage you to find yours.
Most of us TCKs believe that we are unique and have the hardest time of anyone trying to decide what to do with our lives. While the challenge is before us of what we will make of our lives, it is certainly not exclusively our struggle. Those who have not left their country's shores also cry to the heavens for purpose, vision and calling.
PO Bronson crisscrossed the USA talking to hundreds of individuals(over 600) that were struggling to listen to and find their own voices. I think this is the fundamental question of our generation. What should I do with my life? is at the heart of discovering who we really are.
We need to peel away the maze of external expectations that may have made us great adapters (each time we made a cultural transition we were trying to figure what expectations we should be looking for and adapting too) but have made us loose sight of true selves.
When was the last time you took inventory of who you are?
Do you recognize and like what you see? It may take a while to strip all the layers of cover off to get to know yourself again. That is OK. I challenge you to start down the road of self discovery. I was in survival mode most of my TCK childhood and carried some of those ways of living into adulthood. I'd avoided a lot of my own needs to please the expectations or my perceived expectations from others.When I started to ask myself what I really wanted and needed it wasn't easy but it has been so worth it.
PO BRONSON'S book has been another encouragement to me to continue to ask and seek out my unique voice in the midst of my TCK identity.
I encourage you to find yours.
Sunday, February 01, 2009
The March of Time and The Life of My Dreams
Dec, 2nd... and here it is Feb 1th 2009!!
December went quick, heck it seems like the whole of 2008 did too. Dec and Christmas time was spent traveling to see family in California and as a new job as a photographer/sales rep. The Holiday rush was a whirl wind that has now dwindled to a whisper and opened up the time for me to now put my thoughts to blog once again.
Thinking about motivation has got me looking at this next year, and wondering about what it will end up looking like. I got a link from a friend who has moved my thoughts on motivation to my belief in what effect I will have on what this year will turn out to be for me and my wife.
My friend Lisa Jordan (another TCK) sent me this link
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-efficacy
Self-efficacy as stated in the article is "the belief that one is capable of performing in a certain manner to attain certain goals. It is a belief that one has the capabilities to execute the courses of actions required to manage prospective situations. Unlike efficacy, which is the power to produce an effect (in essence, competence), self-efficacy is the belief (whether or not accurate) that one has the power to produce that effect...."
Self-efficacy is related to the idea of desiny.. and " that people of differing self-efficacy perceive the world in fundamentally different ways. People with a high self-efficacy are generally of the opinion that they are in control of their own lives; that their own actions and decisions shape their lives. On the other hand, people with low self-efficacy may see their lives as somewhat out of their hands."
The idea that I have the power to change my situation. To accomplish my goals and dreams is HUGE.
As a TCK my childhood was proscribed for me. or so it seemed to me and it has affected the way I've reacted or acted in the face of life choices as an adult.
My old patterns of coping with change and resting the responsibility for decision on others or procrastinating until the last second don't work any more. It is time for me to choose. Do I have a say in how my life will be or is it just up to fate?
It is easy to I say I have a say. The real question is what will I do about it.
Dreams stay that way with out practical application and action.I've been talking about writing and speaking professionally for years. This year I will do it.(it seems I've got high Self-efficacy doesn't it? yet it takes me way out of my comfort zone and into areas that I will need to work to perfect)
What is your story?
December went quick, heck it seems like the whole of 2008 did too. Dec and Christmas time was spent traveling to see family in California and as a new job as a photographer/sales rep. The Holiday rush was a whirl wind that has now dwindled to a whisper and opened up the time for me to now put my thoughts to blog once again.
Thinking about motivation has got me looking at this next year, and wondering about what it will end up looking like. I got a link from a friend who has moved my thoughts on motivation to my belief in what effect I will have on what this year will turn out to be for me and my wife.
My friend Lisa Jordan (another TCK) sent me this link
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-efficacy
Self-efficacy as stated in the article is "the belief that one is capable of performing in a certain manner to attain certain goals. It is a belief that one has the capabilities to execute the courses of actions required to manage prospective situations. Unlike efficacy, which is the power to produce an effect (in essence, competence), self-efficacy is the belief (whether or not accurate) that one has the power to produce that effect...."
Self-efficacy is related to the idea of desiny.. and " that people of differing self-efficacy perceive the world in fundamentally different ways. People with a high self-efficacy are generally of the opinion that they are in control of their own lives; that their own actions and decisions shape their lives. On the other hand, people with low self-efficacy may see their lives as somewhat out of their hands."
The idea that I have the power to change my situation. To accomplish my goals and dreams is HUGE.
As a TCK my childhood was proscribed for me. or so it seemed to me and it has affected the way I've reacted or acted in the face of life choices as an adult.
My old patterns of coping with change and resting the responsibility for decision on others or procrastinating until the last second don't work any more. It is time for me to choose. Do I have a say in how my life will be or is it just up to fate?
It is easy to I say I have a say. The real question is what will I do about it.
Dreams stay that way with out practical application and action.I've been talking about writing and speaking professionally for years. This year I will do it.(it seems I've got high Self-efficacy doesn't it? yet it takes me way out of my comfort zone and into areas that I will need to work to perfect)
What is your story?
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