Mixing it up with local business leaders

A couple nights ago I went to my first local business networking event sponsored by our city chamber of commerce. It was interesting to mingle, collect business cards, hand mine out and spend a few min. getting to know and hearing every one's 60 second intro. The venue was packed with people all looking to make a business connection that will help them in the future.

One of the things I noticed at this event was that people were willing to share or forward information from someone they knew what might help another attendee that night.

In the 2&1/2 hour event I came away with the business cards of 35 different business people.

If you are looking to get connected to the community you are in. I highly suggest that you look into your local chamber of commerce for connections.

It doesn't take much to join a group like this but the benefits can me great. Our world is so connected and even with all the technology it is still through a personal connection that opportunities and resources flow!

Hylighter : A Collaboration Tool for Geographically dispersed teams

In our uber-connected world, where as TCKs we have connections all over the world, I have been thinking about ways we can maximize our connections and collaborations. One way is though already developed Collaboration tools. We live in a time that makes telecommuting to work a viable option. I recently came across a great tool at I think would help those of us that work creatively and in teams that have members that are geographically dispersed.

The web tool is called Hylighter. Take a look and tell me what you think.

Stepping Up to the Plate in the Game called Life

As a TCK, what do you say, how do you respond, when you are called upon unexpectedly to fill in for a co-worker in need? Yesterday morning I got a call from a co-worker that requested my help in the studio on my day off.

here are a few of the ways I could have chosen to respond:
a) say yes - but really resent the intrusion
b) say yes - because I was open and willing to go in to help out
c) say no - dismissing it without listening to the need expressed
d) say no - after listening to the need, explain why it was not possible for me to help at this time.

It may seem like the choices here are simple.

I have found that life comes down to simple choices. When we are presented with outside requests and demands on our time we must chose how we are going to respond. most of us tend to complicate matters and agonize over our decisions (doing so adds stress to the experience). When we are stressed we tend to make snap decisions based on our immediate feelings. (I've tended to look back on most of my decisions made based on alleviating immediate feelings of stress as imprudent and foolish)

The best course of response to others who "need" us unexpectedly or who make requests of our time and talent is to decide beforehand how we will respond.

Remember: with the help of our Creator, our lives are our own to direct.

The best defense against stress in the face of outside demands is to be inwardly directed.
when we are inwardly directed we are:
-choosing the priorities of how to use our time before outside influences and demands arise.(there will be different priorities for different people at different times.)
-the key is to make choices & decisions before stress distorts our perception of reality
-planning ahead for for the curve balls life can throw our way.
-committed to sticking to our preplanned response, when it serves our goals.
-flexible to outside pressures because we have options in our responses

This week I responded on different occasions with the above answers b & d . B and D put me in control of my life and happy with the choice I made when responding to the outside demand. Choosing my responses was easy as I had done some "pregame" decision planning beforehand for each situation and request.

Note: when you make the decisions beforehand of how you will respond to whatever the outside demand on your time is, it is not unexpected anymore, you have "rehearsed" it already. You are ready to meet it.

Examine your life today. Are you reacting to outside situations that "govern" your life or are you living from within? You will enjoy your life more when you take the time to do some "pregame" decision planning and get proactive in your approach to life.Doing so will enable you to step up the the plate in this game of life, and swing for the fences with confidence!

Accelerated Learning: Tools for cross-cultural learning

One of my desires is to be able to teach others how to make cultural transitions easier.

I think I've found a great resource that I'd like to share with you guys.

One of the Benefits of growing up cross-culturally was a that we were immersed in a a new culture where we learned everything experientially. that is the best way to learn anything.

Dave Meier has written a great book called "The Accelerated learning Handbook" its all about experiential learning. it is great to use for yourself or if you are teaching things to others.

I think Dave's book can be a great tool for cross-cultural learning!

A Valentines Dinner : A Raw Gourmet Feast

This evening Clara prepared an amazing raw gourmet dinner for Valentines Day. The theme was Mediterranean. Joining us for dinner were friends who were getting their first taste of Clara's raw gourmet feast. The verdict by all was that not only was the food delicious but so fun to eat! Raw food has it's detractors, those who say a meal is not complete with out some meat protein and some refined sugars for desert. I could argue the point, but tonight I'll just say that we ended the evening feeling satisfied and with tummies happy. Thank you to my dear wife for making this valentines day so enjoyable and memorable!

As a TCK...Is it easier to be in a relationship with a TCK or a non-TCK?

My friend Brice from TCKID has a short survey that he would love your input on. you can visit TCKID to weigh in with your opinions or you can check out Brice's video of the 200+ results that are in already here

I encourage you to take the survey and to make your thoughts known.

you can also find out more about the results so far on the TCKID facebook page

here ia a note from my friend Brice.

"Hey,Brice here. A while back I asked you if you prefer to be in a relationship with a TCK or Non-TCK and does it even matter? I received over 200 responses with some very interesting stories...As promised, I made this quick video to tell you about the results, and something about my love life. You can watch it on Youtube here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCxFzdr8Wcw

There are many single TCKs looking for partners and couples who need advice or want to mentor younger TCKs. I want to hear your ideas on how we can help serve the needs of the TCK community."

Take the survey: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=Djh03K%2b0M2LXFFVZ8vurjw%3d%3d


I (Isaac) personally think that it comes down to an individual perference. I think it is easier to be in a relationship with someone who has a simmilar out look on life. I had a great chat with Brice today and this is what I said to him.

another book: "Now discover your Strengths"

I have been going back though this book and took the test they offer to figure out what my strengths are. it was really interesting and helpful to see what they were and how I can begin to build on my talents based on my strengths. it does seem that it is best to work to your strengths and not to your weaknesses when you are building your life.

It seems logical to build on what comes more naturally and that you enjoy doing. that is the fuel the propels people to do great things.

check out this link to begin to discover and uncover your strengths

http://www.strengthsfinder.com/

A review you should read: Hiram's CD release concert

This link below is to a blogger who was at and took in my brother's CD release Concert on Feb 7th 09.

As much as I think my brother has something to say with his music and the professional quality of the music production. Having someone who is not a blood relation, of whom no bias can be attributed, is the best one to tell you to have a listen to Hiram's music and discover for yourself what his music says to you.

http://www.andilit.com/?p=373

and if you like what you hear spread the word!!

Making sense of your TCKness

How do you decide which parts of your TCK exprience serve you and which ones you should let go of?

Being comfortable in our multicultural skin

today I've been doing some thinking and reading about our shared multicultural experiences from childhood. how can we answer the question "where are you from?" when you are not sure of the answer yourself?

I came across a great article by by Barbara F. Schaetti the director of Transition Dynamics (one of the links above) entitled Phoenix Rising: A Question of Cultural Identity I highly recommend that any TCK and Global Nomad read it. It puts into perspective how we view the cross cultural experiences that have shaped us and what our response will be.

The website I found the Phoenix Rising article on is called worldweave . It does not seem to have been been updated it seems since 1997 but the articles there are timeless.

Toastmasters International

Most of us see our selves as great communicators or we shrink back from the idea of getting up to speak.

I highly recommend everyone join a local Toastmasters Club. What is Toastmasters? It is an organization that helps novice- expert speakers practice speaking and leadership skills. It is a great way to get connected to the community and make friends if you have moved into a new area. if you have been in your area fro a while and are having a hard time connecting with others toastmasters is a great way to get out of your shell!

Music That Speaks to the TCK Exprience

Hiram Ring is a TCK who happens to be a exceptional singer song-writer.

Here on Connecting Bridge we will be posting an interview with this gifted musician.

Tomorrow Feb. 7th marks the release of his first full-length solo CD entitled "Breath Deep" check it out and buy a copy! you will be glad you did!

Hiram was born in Ghana, West Africa and currently lives in PA. Stay tuned for more about Hiram and his music. for now you can check out his music

at www.hiramring.com,
on itunes
on facebook
and his new music video for the song "one girl for me"

Another Mile Stone.

Today is my Birthday. Marking the beginning of my 35th year on this earth... looking back I can see the tapestry of faces and lives interwoven into mine. I wouldn't be where I am without my family and friends. The TCKs from childhood are my extended family, and my old school chums, co-workers and church buddies round out the picture of my life. I've got to admit I've been truly blessed!

I can't say enough about tckid.com

I recently met Brice through Facebook and chatted with him on skype, he's the guy that started TCKID.

if you are a TCK looking for a space to connect with other TCKs this is the place to do it.

http://www.tckid.com/group/people/third-culture-kids-for-tckid/


it is a place to get plugged in, stay connected, and thrive!

The importance of connecting with others

Tonight I got back from a TCK meetup in Denver. there were 7 of us that met for dinner at an Ethiopian Restuant in downtown Denver.

After three hours of swapping life stories and listening to each other we all knew it was time to leave as we have jobs tomorrow to return to, but it was hard to leave as new friendships were made and the sense of connectedness and shared understanding was felt by all.

When you are with other people that "get" you it is an environment that encourages and uplifts you. I drove the hour and a bit home on cloud nine.

I can't wait to meet up again with this group!

If you don't have such a group in your area start one.

if you don't know where to start looking visit and join TCKID or MKPLANET to get connected. there is a TCK group on facebook too.

A book every TCK should read

I'm coming to the end of another really great read. The book is called "What Should I Do with My Life?" by PO BRONSON

Most of us TCKs believe that we are unique and have the hardest time of anyone trying to decide what to do with our lives. While the challenge is before us of what we will make of our lives, it is certainly not exclusively our struggle. Those who have not left their country's shores also cry to the heavens for purpose, vision and calling.

PO Bronson crisscrossed the USA talking to hundreds of individuals(over 600) that were struggling to listen to and find their own voices. I think this is the fundamental question of our generation. What should I do with my life? is at the heart of discovering who we really are.

We need to peel away the maze of external expectations that may have made us great adapters (each time we made a cultural transition we were trying to figure what expectations we should be looking for and adapting too) but have made us loose sight of true selves.

When was the last time you took inventory of who you are?
Do you recognize and like what you see? It may take a while to strip all the layers of cover off to get to know yourself again. That is OK. I challenge you to start down the road of self discovery. I was in survival mode most of my TCK childhood and carried some of those ways of living into adulthood. I'd avoided a lot of my own needs to please the expectations or my perceived expectations from others.When I started to ask myself what I really wanted and needed it wasn't easy but it has been so worth it.

PO BRONSON'S book has been another encouragement to me to continue to ask and seek out my unique voice in the midst of my TCK identity.

I encourage you to find yours.

The March of Time and The Life of My Dreams

Dec, 2nd... and here it is Feb 1th 2009!!

December went quick, heck it seems like the whole of 2008 did too. Dec and Christmas time was spent traveling to see family in California and as a new job as a photographer/sales rep. The Holiday rush was a whirl wind that has now dwindled to a whisper and opened up the time for me to now put my thoughts to blog once again.

Thinking about motivation has got me looking at this next year, and wondering about what it will end up looking like. I got a link from a friend who has moved my thoughts on motivation to my belief in what effect I will have on what this year will turn out to be for me and my wife.

My friend Lisa Jordan (another TCK) sent me this link
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-efficacy

Self-efficacy as stated in the article is "the belief that one is capable of performing in a certain manner to attain certain goals. It is a belief that one has the capabilities to execute the courses of actions required to manage prospective situations. Unlike efficacy, which is the power to produce an effect (in essence, competence), self-efficacy is the belief (whether or not accurate) that one has the power to produce that effect...."

Self-efficacy is related to the idea of desiny.. and " that people of differing self-efficacy perceive the world in fundamentally different ways. People with a high self-efficacy are generally of the opinion that they are in control of their own lives; that their own actions and decisions shape their lives. On the other hand, people with low self-efficacy may see their lives as somewhat out of their hands."

The idea that I have the power to change my situation. To accomplish my goals and dreams is HUGE.

As a TCK my childhood was proscribed for me. or so it seemed to me and it has affected the way I've reacted or acted in the face of life choices as an adult.

My old patterns of coping with change and resting the responsibility for decision on others or procrastinating until the last second don't work any more. It is time for me to choose. Do I have a say in how my life will be or is it just up to fate?

It is easy to I say I have a say. The real question is what will I do about it.

Dreams stay that way with out practical application and action.I've been talking about writing and speaking professionally for years. This year I will do it.(it seems I've got high Self-efficacy doesn't it? yet it takes me way out of my comfort zone and into areas that I will need to work to perfect)

What is your story?

Traveling for the Holidays

Last Monday, after working a 10 hour day, (my wife and I) planned to catch a red eye to Boston out of Denver International airport. Well, we we ended up missing the flight by 2 minutes! That is right, the plane had just shut the door when we came sprinting up to the gate. It was 1am.

So we had two options.
1) leave the airport, retrieve our car from long-term parking and head back home to Colorado Springs (an hour & a half away) and start the journey all over again in the morning to come back in time for the next flight at 11:45am.

or

2) spend the night in the terminal at the gate.

As you might guess we chose option 2. Yes, we decided to bunk down at the gate! We figured that with all the experience of traveling from our childhoods, 10 hours at the gate would be no problem. Have you ever spent the night in an airport? Would you describe it as restful? I would describe our rest was fitful at best. the cleaning crew come through and they make some noise, at least they were courteous. The air conditioning is on full blast and the carpeted terminal is REALLY hard, though I must say the Colorado sunrise was magnificent.

At least we came prepared with our own dried fruit, bananas, a burrito, trail mix and water for sustenance. and a few books to read.

It is interesting to see the terminal go from the evening activity to deserted ant then back to the hustle and bustle in the morning. It is like a beehive. the flow of people is amazing. I love to people watch at the airport it is fascinating you feel like you are part of something. a fellow traveler and yet distinct. I saw people in every state of dress each with a different destination and life to lead. I like to make up stories about where they are headed and who is waiting for them at their final destinations whether its the biker guys, ladies with blue hair or the polished businessman in his suit.

All told, after approx. 24 hours in the transit we arrived in Boston. We caught a connecting flight and lay-over in New York's JFK, where terminal for Jet Blue is awesome! (Where else can you take a yoga class while you are waiting for your flight, and grab a bite from the fresh buffet bar?)

Boston was cold and wet yet we had a fabulous time with the family catching up on each others news and reminiscing old times... what fun!!

I did pick up a cold in the airport and fought it with loads of cough drops and multivitamin C but got me on the day we departed for home. I lost my voice! this time we had a great return trip a straight flight from Boston to Denver! and the stewardess gave me extra snacks!

Flying back on Saturday evening was great because when we got in at 11:30pm, it started snowing on drive back to Colorado Springs, and it then kept snowing for the next 24 hours. We ended up with a foot and a half of snow! If we hadn't left Boston on Saturday we still might be there!

Do you have a good holiday traveling story? Share it!

The Importance of Open & Honest communication

How many of you think your parents know you? That they listened to your needs when you were carted across the world. That you can sit down with them and share your heartaches. Some of which they may have caused through the process of dealing with their own cultural adjustments or intentional or unintentional neglect. Or just the circumstances you found yourself in.

I think that most of parents of TCK's are career driven, they have high ideals and see their jobs through the lens of a "greater or higher purpose." The here is a price to pay and TCKs pay a big one.
(Can you relate to this?)
As a kid of someone who has set out to change the world and help others, at times I was lost in the shuffle. I came to the conclusion early that I'd have to start looking out for myself and most of the time I ended up being my own confidant and holding my own counsel on cultural and social survival. (One big advantage for me was also having some close brothers to bounce things off of)
That choice to be independent and so self-reliant helped me get though many tough experiences while growing up, but the tactic has been more of a hindrance to my personal and relational growth as an adult. It has hindered the closeness and emotional health in my marriage. It has limited the opportunities for growth in other friendships and connecting with other interesting souls.

Fortunately, having parents that are willing to look me in the eye, admit failure and ask for forgiveness for any culpability has been HUGE to me.

You see...I just spent this past weekend connecting with my parents, I was able to share with them how I felt unable as a kid to share most of my feelings about our transitions and experiences, how our family's "keep your chin up" attitude made me bottle up emotions and feelings, until they would result in negative behavior.

As a child how do you deal with political unrest, checkpoints, and guns pointed in your face, and your father taken by the soldiers? what about seeing death up close, what about having your family separated by boarding school and being sexually abused? what about the stress of constant sickness (malaria, dengue fever, and hepatitis)? Or the cultural disconnect when living back in the states? this list could go on...

I survived my TCK experiences, and You did too. GREAT! Yet I have this crazy idea that there is more to living than just survival.

My point is that most missionary families are ill equipped to handle all the stresses of life overseas in remote locations with demanding jobs; when parents and kids don't communicate well within the family most TCKs are just along for the bumpy ride.

This past weekend was a turning point in my life, I came clean with my parents on a lot of my real feelings and thoughts. and they didn't disown me or belittle my perceptions. Thanks Mom and Dad for being open to discuss and acknowledge that painful things did occur and mistakes were made! You have set an example of honest responsibility (for mistakes and miss steps) and I've decided on my own to take the responsibility for my own actions and reactions to the events of my past.

Open & Honest communication is the best way to bring your past, present and future together!

This type of communication can take you from surviving to thriving! I know I can see the light at end of the tunnel!

Trick-or-Treat: Halloween a TCK holiday

Today Halloween is observed with candy exchange all across the USA. People dress-up in ghoulish costumes and other outfits of fancy. It makes me wonder why. As a TCK, I find myself looking in on this tradition from the outside the culture. Growing up in Ghana we didn't celebrate Halloween.

I've done a little research into Halloween and it seems the tradition has it's roots in the Celtic past. History.com has quite an interesting piece on how we in the States have come to observe his day.

Halloween is a mix of traditions built upon one another. (Celtic mysticism, Roman paganism, & Christian traditions.) Different cultures have shaped its practice and meaning.

Halloween and how it as evolved is a great metaphor for what makes a TCK a TCK .

So... will you Trick-or-Treat this Halloween?